


Music To His Ears

by Kuriko



Category: Free! - Iwatobi Swim Club
Genre: AU, Did I mention fluff?, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Nagisa being Nagisa, haru maybe a little ooc, lots of fluff, makoto is an angel as usual, rating may go up to M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-01-13 05:25:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1214329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuriko/pseuds/Kuriko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[AU] Nanase Haruka is a talented but unknown violinist who needs a push to get his music out there and sold. When a famous pianist discovers him, Haru's not sure if it's what he really wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> So, basically this is a little AU I made up because a) I'm a violinist and b) I haven't seen this AU before. So why not write it? The rating MAY go up, or I may just add a little oneshot series after I've finished this fic, I don't know yet.  
> Enjoy? :)

Nanase Haruka's apartment was small. One bedroom, a bathroom only just big enough for a tub, a tiny kitchen, and a general living area. In fact, one could even say it was tiny. The raven-haired male had never been able to afford anything better, and was more than happy to spend the rest of his life this way. The neighbours were noisy with their music on the weekends, but Haru could never find himself to care much. He himself created a lot of noise when he wanted to, and that was when the male lost himself to playing the violin. Said instrument was currently laid on the bed next to its bow – which desperately needed re-hairing – as its owner drummed his fingers on his desk, staring out of the medium-sized window at the cityscape.

As of late, Haru had found it hard to find any inspiration for music at all. The last few days he had come to the depressing conclusion that he had just ran out of ideas. Nothing seemed interesting. They were just frivolous, fleeting moments that held no value. Not even the way a small, common bird was hopping around on the narrow window ledge, pecking at the somewhat dirty glass every now and then, probably wondering why the giant inside was staring down at it with lidded, tired eyes, could give him an ounce of inspiration.

A phone buzzing in his pocket pulled Haru out of his daydream, the attempt of finding inspiration failing for the umpteenth time that day. He pulled it out and groaned. Of course, a text from his childhood friend, Nagisa.

[From: Hazuki Nagisa] : Haru-chan, Haru-chan! Someone's sick at work and we need you really bad! Can you pleasepleaseplease come in? Thank youuu!

_'As always,'_ Haru thought as he slid his phone shut and pushed his body up off the uncomfortable plastic chair. He made a note to buy a new one with his next pay check, and changed into his uniform. The clothes were simple; black trousers, white shirt, and nothing else. Though to make it a bit more cosy, Haru always made a point to where his favourite light blue hoody over the top. It annoyed the manager, but the raven-haired male couldn't care less as long as he kept his job. Grabbing his keys and phone, he made his way out, forgetting that he had left his precious, 60 year old violin on the bed. It didn't matter; the area he made his home in had a low rate of crime, apparently.

A quick jog later and Haru was at the small but popular bakery, slightly out of breath. Nagisa cheered and glomped his friend as soon as he walked in, which had Haru grumbling and gently pushing the hyperactive blond away.

“You're heavy,” Haru protested as Nagisa went in for another too-tight hug. 

“Aw, c'mon! Aren't ya happy to see me?” the shorter male chimed in a sing-song voice, earning a grunt from Haru. He walked into the back room, noting the usual disapproving stare he received from the manager, and pulled his navy coloured apron on before heading back out and standing in front of the till. It didn't seem like the place was all that busy, his fingers tapping on the counter as another customer strolled in. Not much taller than Haru, blue hair, red glasses, looking like he had something stuck up his butt. The raven-haired male had to hold back a snort as his mind made that comment, but on the outside his expression remained blank as usual.

“Ahem.” The blue-haired male cleared his throat, and Haru looked up at him, an eyebrow raised ever so slightly. “I-I'd lik--”

“Rei-chaaaan!” Haru winced as a blur of blond zoomed past him and flew into the customer, almost knocking the pair of them down. Slender arms wrapped around the male with glasses, despite his efforts to get Nagisa off him.

“N-Nagisa! Get off me!” the male squeaked. Another suppressed snort from Haru. The blond in question eventually released 'Rei-chan' and giggled, earning a blush from the taller male.

“But Rei-chan's so fun to tease!” Nagisa fought back, and Haru could sense the evil intentions behind those words. Deep blue eyes glanced back to 'Rei-chan' as said male turned an even darker shade of crimson. It took him many minutes to finally calm down, and Nagisa skipped off to greet some more customers, before his gaze focused back on the till, staring at the blank screen.

“Ahem.” Haru resisted the urge to roll his eyes and glared up at the bespectacled man.

“... Yes?”

“I'd like to place some orders if it's not too much trouble,” was the response and with a huff, Haru reached under the counter and retrieved a thick black folder, and proceeded to open it up at the page he knew was the last used. Listening to the blue-haired man, Haru quickly jotted down the information provided and forced a fake smile as he left, but not without stuttering a goodbye to Nagisa. Only then did Haru roll his eyes.

_'Weirdo,'_ he thought.

The four hour shift felt like an eternity for Haru, and when it ended, he never felt like he would enjoy the cold autumn breeze as much as he did then. It ruffled his jet black hair up, making it stick up in awkward directions, and he took a deep breath of the fresh, crisp air before sighing. As much as he hated having to socialise with strangers – or people in general – it kept a roof over his head and food on the table. Haru couldn't really complain even if he wanted to. It wasn't like his parents would lend him any financial aid, as they left him years ago, moving away as they found better jobs. 

Those thoughts were soon blown away as Haru slowly walked through the large park that separated his apartment and workplace, watching as groups of teenagers drank alcohol and smoked God-knows-what. Nose wrinkling in slight disgust, Haru quickened his pace, and was soon back in the cosy confines of his home. An idea coming to mind, he snatched up his violin and shoved it, albeit gently, back into its case along with the bow.

The raven was at his door again when his stomach gave out a loud growl, demanding food before it would force Haru to start chewing on his arm or something. 

“Later,” he muttered to his own body, ignoring the twinge of discomfort his hunger brought on, and yanked the door open. The male couldn't remember if he had locked it or not, but again, it didn't really matter to him. Apart from his violin, there wasn't really anything valuable inside his apartment anyway.

The cool breeze brought goosebumps to Haru's lower arms – he had rolled the sleeves of his hoody up for work – but he didn't make a point to pull the fabric back down so his skin was covered completely. Seeing his breath form in front of him in smoky wisps, Haru paused for a brief moment to let his gaze drift up to the partly cloudy sky. It had turned out to be a rather peaceful night, even if the air had a chill to it, and Haru's eyes trailed a plane above, only just visible with its flashing lights. Haru allowed himself a tiny smile – it was things like this that gave him inspiration in the past. Little things that nature would provide, whether it be a bird singing its tune at the crack of dawn, or the crickets buzzing in the summer nights. His expression saddening ever so slightly, Haru began to walk again, realising that none of that really helped any more. He could write music, but to him there was no life to it. No emotion. Nagisa always insisted that Haru's music was perfectly fine and that he should show it to some producer, but the raven refused, his self-confidence only sinking lower.

As he re-entered the park, it seemed the bunch of idiotic teenagers from before had vanished, so Haru perched himself on the small wall of the fountain in the centre; his usual place for playing in the dead of night. After getting his violin back out, the male closed his eyes, letting nature's own song ring in his ears.

With an intake of breath which he then held, Haru brought the instrument up to his chin, hesitated for a moment, and began to play. He had picked one of his earlier tunes; slow, with a sound that just seemed to fit the darkness that surrounded him, only broken by the odd street lamp every now and then. The dim light reflected slightly off the polished wood of the violin as he played, eventually forgetting the world around him.

When playing like that, Haru always felt like he was floating, as if he were free from all the restrains the modern world held him down with. It was that type of freedom that the raven always craved, but never received. His ego shot, Haru had eventually given up.

But right then, Haru couldn't care. His life wasn't the easiest, but he was able to get by. The tune he was playing came to its peak; his favourite part. Moving up to the thinnest and highest string, Haru added in a few little trills here and there to change it up a bit, the corner of his lips tugging upwards in a tiny smile.

As the saying went, all things must come to an end, and with a slightly aching left hand, Haru brought the tune to its end, doing a bit of vibrato on the last, long note, before letting out the breath he hadn't realise he'd been holding. The violin slipped off his shoulder and he rested it on his lap, content with sitting in his spot for a while longer despite the cold seeping into his body's core. A twig snapped somewhere nearby but it didn't frighten Haru one bit. 

That was, until he heard a soft voice.

“That was amazing.” Haru jumped, almost dropping his violin as his head spun around to meet the source of the voice. Brilliant green eyes, fluffy brown hair, and to top that a gentle expression that was sure to melt anyone into a puddle of mush on the floor.


	2. A New Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of a new friendship with a gentle green-eyed giant of a man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These will get longer, I swear. :)

Laughter filled the chilly air as Haru attempted to regain his cool composure. A light touch of pink crept up onto the raven's usually pale cheeks as he pursed his lips together in a pout and looked away; his usual reaction to being embarrassed. After what felt like an eternity, the gentle chuckling stopped and Haru heard a few stop footsteps on the slightly damp grass, knowing that the tall male was coming closer. 

“Ah, I'm sorry,” the man said, smiling as Haru let his gaze slide over to meet the captivating green. Before he knew it, he was lost in those eyes, sinking, drowning in the emerald orbs. It was only when the man blinked that Haru managed to pull himself back to reality. He huffed, eyes darting away to prevent him from being caught, earning another bubble of laughter. 

“I heard you playing and couldn't help but listen, I'm sorry for intruding.” Haru couldn't help but think that the male's voice was familiar, in a way. Gentle, caring, the perfect tone to fit a perfect body-- wait, stop right there. Haru quickly rid his mind of those thoughts, and shrugged one shoulder. 

“S'fine,” he mumbled, still attempting to hide his tiny blush with his fringe, but the black hair barely did a good job of that. 

“I hope it's not too much but... can you play it again?” 

Haru's gaze instantly shot back to meet that same green, this time it was full of a kind of excitement, anticipation almost. He forced back a snort, before his eyes fell to the violin still on his lap, fingers still tightly gripping the neck from the jolt his body did earlier. It took a few minutes for the male to make a decision, but eventually, he nodded slowly, and brought the instrument back up to his chin. 

After taking in a deep breath, Haru let the bow rest on the strings ever so lightly, before beginning to play the tune again. It felt odd, knowing that someone was watching him play, but it wasn't exactly a bad feeling, either. Stealing a glance at the strange brunet, Haru's eyes widened. The male was swaying from side to side a little, eyes closed as he listened. Before the annoying blush could return, Haru tore his eyes away, forcing them to stay glued to his fingers on the strings, watching them fly from string to string, a multitude of notes emanating from the instrument as he continued to play. 

A minute or so later and Haru had his eyes closed, once again lost to the music, but something brought him back, eyelashes fluttering as his eyes opened again. He could hear a voice. Not your usual speaking tone. No, someone was singing, or at least humming. His performance stopped, and he turned to the source of the noise. The man immediately stopped and rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. 

“S-Sorry, I got carried away there, huh,” he stammered, and Haru narrowed his eyes. That sing-song voice was so familiar, yet Haru still couldn't put a name to it. 

“Who are you?” the raven asked simply. The brunet in front of him blinked a few times in disbelief. Was Haru meant to know who he was? It sure seemed like it, from the reaction he was getting. Nevertheless, the male just shrugged it off, and held out his right hand. 

“Makoto. Tachibana Makoto.” The reply was in that gentle tone again, the one that made Haru want to melt into a puddle on the floor, but somehow he managed to put his bow gentle to the side, gripped onto his violin with his right hand, and with his left, shook Makoto's one. 

“N-Nanase Haruka.” Haru mentally cursed himself for the sudden stuttering, but Makoto didn't seem to mind. Of course his hands were trembling, even as he began to put away his precious instrument. It was him. The well-known pianist and singer, Tachibana Makoto. The thought rose a question in Haru's mind, however. What was he doing here in all of places? Some dingy park in the middle of the big city. It didn't make sense. 

“I'm here on a tour,” Makoto answered, and Haru jumped up from his crouched down position, looking up at the tall male with wide eyes. 

_'How the hell did he just do that?'_ he thought, before adjusting his hoody and looking away. Makoto simply laughed, but didn't say anything else. All it did was make Haru even more awkward. 

After a few minutes, the silence was broken, again by Makoto. 

“I'd like to hear you play more,” he said, and deep blue eyes rose to meet forest green. 

_'Why would he want to hear my crap?'_ Haru thought, frowning slightly. However, all he said in the end was, “yeah,” and shoved his hands in his pockets, sighing. He couldn't get over the fact that Tachibana Makoto wanted to hear more of his tunes, despite how much the male hated them. It still made no sense. Nothing did at that moment in time. 

“Well, I'll let you decide some other time, alright? I've gotta go.” The brunet's voice pierced through Haru's ears, making him fully alert as curious sapphire watched as large, calloused hands reached into the inner pocket of a jacket. Eyes were still glued to them as a number was scribbled down on a ripped piece of paper. “I know it's weird but, I really like your stuff. Make sure you don't give this number out, 'kay?” That gentle smile again. It was enough to make Haru's heart skip a beat, but he took the paper and, not even glancing at what was written, shoved it into his pocket and picked up his violin case. 

“Yeah,” he replied in a deadpan tone, acting as if he weren't interested. Makoto gave a quick grin before waving and jogging off. Now Haru was alone with his thoughts. The thoughts that were whirling around his head, repeating themselves over and over and honestly getting quite annoying. 

“Shut up, head,” Haru mumbled to himself before heading back. 

For some reason, the walk back to his apartment felt a little different. The piece of paper in his pocket felt like it was boring holes into the thick fabric, even though that was clearly just in Haru's head. The wind felt different. It had a strange crisp to it that Haru hadn't noticed before. Nature's sounds surrounding him felt that little bit more sharp and noticeable. He shrugged. Probably his imagination. 

A loud mewl greeted Haru was he opened his door, a hungry kitten soon clawing as his shins as she was unable to reach any higher. Haru sighed in response, dropped his violin into his worn-out bed, and padded into the kitchen, Kimi trotting happily after him. 

“Here.” Haru shovelled some wet food into a bowl and placed it onto the floor, and barely had time to pull his hands away before Kimi had darted forward and began to scoff the food down. “For how much you eat, you don't grow much...” the raven muttered as purring filled the room. 

\- 

With his own stomach and the cat's hunger very satisfied, Haru was sat on his couch, staring at the blank screen of his old TV. He hadn't moved to turn it on yet. Instead, his head was full of the previous events of that evening. 

_Why did Tachibana Makoto of all people give me his phone number?_

_Why does he want to hear more?_

_Do I need to write a new tune?_

_Why did he begin to sing along?_

_Was he thinking of taking the tune to make it his own?_

_Why did he have to be so good--_

“Shut up,” Haru said suddenly, and Kimi jumped from his lap and hissed in annoyance. The raven blinked, returning the glare his kitten was giving him, before reaching over and flicking the TV on. 

None of the programmes really interested the violinist. It was the usual rubbish for a Monday night, he supposed. Random documentaries he had already seen five times before. Old films from over thirty years ago. Repeats of shows he didn't care about. 

A rustling brought Haru out of his bored state. It was probably Kimi rummaging around in places she shouldn't be, but as he caught sight of a certain piece of paper, the male jumped off the couch and grabbed the kitten, holding her up. Why did he buy a cat, anyway? Oh. Nagisa. Of course. His eyes narrowed as he glared at the feline again, seeing a corner of paper sticking out of her tiny mouth. 

Haru made a sound of disgust before prying Kimi's jaws open, ignoring the razor sharp teeth, and somehow managed to retrieve the paper. 

Stupid cats. 

Grumbling to himself, Haru came to the conclusion it would be a good idea to copy the number down somewhere in case a certain very annoying little kitten decided that paper was to be its next snack. He pulled out his phone and, after having to squint to see the smudged numbers properly, successfully added the contact. Which reminded him of a hyperactive blonde that would probably want to know everything about what happened. 

\- 

A rather long, irritating conversation later, and Haru was completely and utterly exhausted, which was a first. Chatting to Nagisa always took all the energy out of him. The violinist flopped back onto his bed with a heavy sigh, glad to finally have some time to himself. Kimi hopped up to join him, curling up next to his head and falling asleep. 

Haru scoffed. If only it were that easy for him. Cats had a hard life, really. Sleep, eat, claw at things, eat some more, then just sleep for the rest of the day. Rolling his eyes and then closing them, Haru pulled a thick blanket over his slim figure and after a brief moment, found the slumber he had longed for. 

\- 

“Haru-chan~!” Haru held back a groan as the usual sing-song voice of his annoying childhood friend rang through the small bakery, thankful that no customers were there yet to hear such a nickname. “How did last night go, huh?! Did you call him? Please say you called him!” 

“No, I didn't call him. I fell asleep like normal people do at 3 o'clock in the morning,” Haru snapped, glaring daggers at the blond. The expression didn't seem to affect Nagisa at all, as he was soon giggling again before rushing into the back room for God-knows-what. It was then that Haru let out a sigh, rubbing his forehead as it ached from lack of sleep. Thanks to Nagisa, he had gained a massive four hours sleep, and now had a pounding head as a reward. 

The bell ringing was the signal for Haru to try and straighten up, but as soon as he the face of the person, he decided he wouldn't even bother. 

“Good morning, Nanase-kun,” the male with glasses said, and he pushed the spectacles up his nose, which seemed to be a bit of a habit. 

“Reeei-chaaan~!” came the excited cry from Nagisa, the blond, as usual, running over and throwing his arms around the blue-haired male. Haru groaned. 

“Can you be quiet, Nagisa? Not everyone can survive on barely a few hours sleep,” the raven muttered but was ignored. It was barely 8:15 and Haru knew he had already talked way too much for it to be healthy. He was a person of few words, and wanted to keep it that way if possible. 

Another chime from the door bell, and tired oceanic blue eyes lifted from the till to see who the new customer was. Haru's stomach dropped. 

Fluffy yet wild brown hair, striking, forest green eyes, and looks that could seriously kill. 

“Ah, Haruka, I didn't know you worked here?” that same, gentle tone spoke. Haru swallowed the lump in his throat, before realising something. Since when were they on first-name terms? He had only just met the pianist last night! Maybe he was crazy. Yeah. Definitely crazy. Haru stared with lidded eyes, too exhausted to care past that. 

“Yes I do,” he mumbled as Nagisa finally peeled himself off a very flustered Rei. _'Oh, God Nagisa, please don-'_

“Oh my God it's you!” the blonde squealed, and Haru swore that if Makoto wasn't here he would have face planted the counter. “It's you! Haru-chan told me all about you last night!” 

_'Nagisa stop i-'_

“He totally loves you already!” 

_'Nagisa, I'm warning yo--'_

“I mean, he didn't exactly say those words but-- Haru-chan? Why do you look so scary?!” Nagisa tried his best to look scared, but the expression was completely transparent. If Haru's glare could kill, he would be a serial killer. Multiple times over. 

“Shut. Up.” Haru's voice was deep, and a lot rougher than it had ever sounded before. He was tired, he had a pounding headache, yet Nagisa still seemed to think that squealing like a little girl was a perfectly good idea. Makoto, however, was looking as if he understood the situation a little, and put a hand up in half-surrender. 

“I'll.. come back later,” the brunet said, before placing a hand on the counter and leaning in to the fuming Haru. 

“What?” he spat out. 

“Play for me later.” 


	3. One Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru starts the fall for Makoto, while Makoto's busy being a sweetheart.

_Play for me._

The words must have repeated at least 3 times in Haruka's head for them to finally be heard properly, and the raven-haired male blinked a couple of times before giving Makoto a nod. A gentle smile spread across the brunet's lips at the response and he took a few steps back.

“Same place as before, at 7,” he said with a chuckle and before Haru knew it, he was gone again. He blinked once more, a little confused about what had just happened.

“Haru-chan has a date!” Nagisa chimed, earning an icy glare in return. The blond giggled, irritating Haru further. It wasn't a date, to him. It was a performance. A performance that just so happened to be in font of a pianist and singer that he had been rather fond of for a while. It wasn't the music itself; there was never overly complex melodies, harmonies, or even chord progressions. It was the way it was played. The emotion Makoto put into each note with both his playing and singing was something Haru could only dream of doing.

“Earth to Haru-chan?” Something prodded him in the shoulder and he grunted as his mind was roughly brought back to reality. Not being in the mood to deal with a hyperactive friend, Haru retreated to the back room. He leaned against the wall and let out a heavy sigh, wishing that he could be back home. Heart beating a little faster than normal, Haru grew confused. It must have been Nagisa's words getting to him again, though the male wouldn't show it. It's not a date, Haru told himself again and again. 

_It's a performance._

When Haru eventually returned to the front room of the bakery, Nagisa was greeting some new customers in his usual friendly way, making Haru wonder how on Earth he managed that all the time. He shuffled up to the counter, deadpan expression as was normal, and attempted to get his mind off his date - no, performance - with Makoto. 

The four hours that Haru had to work for his shift seemed to last for an eternity and a day. Each customer's order seemed more and more arduous, the male gradually growing increasingly tired. The fact that whatever God existed threw in a few tantrum-throwing children in the mix too exhausted him further. By the time 6:30pm finally rolled around, all Haru wanted to do was retire to his bed and sleep for a day. That, however, wouldn't happen just yet as the violinist had something quite a bit more important to do.

Pulling his coat on with a sigh, Haru made his way back home, though knowing it would only be a short visit saddened him a little. Kimi of course mewled in disagreement when Haru refused to feed her as much as usual, and for a reason unknown to him, he stood in front of his bedroom mirror, actually considering to change clothes just for Makoto. It was confusing why he was debating it seeing as most of the time Haru couldn't care less about what he looked like, but this was different. It was Tachibana Makoto he was meeting with, not some random stranger. Not that Makoto wasn't a stranger, because he was, but it didn't matter to Haru.

In the end, he did change his outfit. With a glance at his mirror, Haru was glad he had made that decision. A light grey, short-sleeved top that was just a little too big for him so it hung off his shoulders, exposing more of his neck than it shoulder. Dark blue skinny jeans that hugged his skin just right. And, just because it was chilly outside, Haru added a light blue hoody that he kept unzipped for now. It was cold, but not too much for him to feel the need to do it up. Then, the raven-haired male grabbed his violin and reluctantly his phone, and shuffled back out despite his body's protests of wanting to sleep.

Nerves began to flutter and rise in Haru's stomach as he neared the park determined as the meeting place, and they only worsened once he saw the figure waiting in the centre by the fountain. Tall, brunet, and a hell of a lot more handsome in real person than on the CD covers and magazine articles. Haru swallowed the lump in his throat before approaching. Makoto smiled that wide, gentle smile as he saw him.

“You're early.” Haru almost scoffed at the comment, but held it back as his mind thankfully reminded him that this was no ordinary person.

“Yeah,” he responded, tone emotionless as he perched himself on the edge of the fountain.

“I really like how you play,” Makoto said and Haru looked away. He was obviously trying to just start a conversation, something Haru was never good at being a part of. He kept quiet – one thing Haru was good at. Makoto took the hint and chuckled, a gentle rumble in his chest that had Haru's stomach twist in odd ways.

“Do you record what you play? I mean, you compose, right? The way that tune sounded last night... it was really amazing! I'm surprised no record companies have snatched you up. Were you self-taught?” And so, Makoto rambled, and ranted. Question after question that Haru was too tired to answer. He fiddled around with the zip of his hoody as the pianist next to him spoke on and on, about things mostly musical but a random topic thrown in every now and then for good measure. It was only when the air fell quiet that Haru looked up to meet an amused, emerald gaze.

“... What?” he said in a tone much harsher than planned.

“Are you going to play for me or are you going to listen to me talk for the next hour?” Haru's stomach dropped. Oh. That's why he was there. To play, not to listen. He nodded and bent down to carefully pick up his violin case. He set it on his lap and proceeded to get the instrument out, fumbling every so often as his fingers seemed determined to tremble for some odd reason.

After almost dropping his violin countless times with increasingly louder laughs from Makoto each time, Haru finally managed to get himself ready. He stood, feeling as though it would allow him better posture, and inhaled a deep breath to force his nauseating nerves away. 

_One, two, three, four..._

Haru began to play. To him, the melody wasn't quite right. It sounded off, as if a few notes were out of key, but he carried on. There was no point in stopping. Either way, Makoto would laugh at him for sure. A feeling of dread pulled at his heart, making his throat grow tighter.

Slowly, Haru closed his eyes.

And it helped.

The music emanating from his violin formed strings behind his eyelids, floating around in the darkness and creating patterns. His body felt at ease, watching the silky strands lazily swim around. It made everything simpler to do. His fingers no longer trembled as they flew across the metallic violin strings, hitting each note with perfect pitch. His right hand ceased to shake as it controlled the bow, gliding across the instrument and creating a beautiful sound.

It was his escape from reality.

Then, Haru stopped. The melody ran out, and as the silence around him began to deafen, azure eyes fluttered open to meet wide emerald. Makoto's mouth was hanging open a little, lips drying as he struggled to close them, eyes staring. Haru started to feel uncomfortable under the shocked gaze. The nerves returned with revenge, making him feel sick as he shifted his weight from one foot to another.

“That... was...” Makoto began, finally regaining the control of his voice.

“Awful,” Haru quickly finished for him, hurriedly crouching down and putting his violin away. A hand on his wrist stopped him and he looked up through dark lashes.

“Don't say that.” The voice caused Haru to freeze on the spot. He knew his music was awful, that was the whole reason each tune never got past the recorded stage. It was the reason Haru had always refused to let Nagisa take the CD's to a company to get them released. 

_I'm happy where I am, why change?_

Makoto began to shift and fidget as though he was as uncomfortable as Haru – as if there was something he wanted to say but was to embarrassed to come out with it. Haru watched closely, trying to make his expression into one of assurance, but it probably didn't come out that way. Especially when Makoto laughed loudly, covering his mouth with a hand to try and stifle the chuckles that burst from him. Haru glared and it didn't change the situation as the brunet in front of him continued to laugh, though it finally did die down and Haru was met with the heart-melting smile again. He swore he could feel his own heart in his chest begin to turn into mush.

“Tomorrow.” Haru cocked his head to the side.

“Tomorrow?”

Another bubble of laughter, another deadly glare.

“I'll meet you again tomorrow. At the apartment I've rented while I stay here.” That was when Haru's heart decided to do a backflip and try to escape him via an annoying lump in his throat, and he struggled to make his voice work.

“Y-yeah.” Makoto didn't seem to notice the tiny stammer, simply standing up to his full height and straightening out his clothes.

“I'll see you tomorrow.”

–

Haru was nervous yet again. He had barely slept for the second night in a row and he was beginning to have an effect on his body, and most certainly showed on his face. Dark circles under his eyes were the most visible indicator of this. 

That previous day, Makoto had handed him another slip of paper, this time a receipt from a local convenience store, with an address scribbled onto it. Haru knew the area reasonably well and the pair soon came to an agreement on a time that Makoto could fit into his busy schedule.

Now Haru was stood outside a tall block of apartments, much more fancy than his own, and the male gulped as he clutched onto the handle of his violin case. He shouldn't be here. Only rich people belonged in this area. He forced the negative thoughts away, unwanted as he pressed the bell for apartment number 18.

“Hello, Haruka?” came a familiar voice and Haru's eyes narrowed at Makoto's insistence on calling him by his first name. It was ignored.

“I'm here.”

“Of course! Here let me...” There was a brief pause before Haru heard a soft click nearby. “There! Come in, I'm at number 18.”

 _I know,_ Haru thought to himself and grunted at the receiver. Makoto seemed cheerful, and Haru assumed that it was his usual attitude.

Before he knew it, Haru was in a large living area, completely bare apart from a grand piano and a couch. Sat at the piano was Makoto, looking rather happy. Haru's eyes wandered to the walls, a couple of scenic paintings dotted around on them, then over to the large window with a breathtaking view; something Haru would almost gladly give an arm and a leg for. If only he had the money.

Makoto took the silence from Haru as normal and played a random chord on his piano to catch the violinist's attention, and it worked. The sound was beautiful was it reverberated off the walls, echoing around the nearly empty room.

“Play.”

That was all Haru needed. He dropped down on the fancy couch and he swore that was the quickest he had ever got his violin out. He didn't fumble or drop anything this time. The instrument was on his shoulder and Haru was as ready as he would ever be, staring at Makoto with a gaze containing a lot more emotion than was normal.

Then he played.

This time there was a difference, but Haru couldn't put his finger on what exactly it was. Something felt off, but it wasn't the notes being odd or the bow putting too much pressure on the strings, causing them to squeak and sound too sharp. It was positive. 

“Carry on,” Makoto said, and Haru did. He didn't close his eyes. He gazed at Makoto, watching as the brunet slowly brought his hands to the piano keys and pressed a chord that fit perfectly with the made-up tune from Haru, as if he had heard it many times before even though in actuality, he had heard it maybe once or twice.

Shortly after, Haru heard a voice. A familiar, gentle voice. It was copying Haru's melody, but simpler, and held much more emotion than he could ever manage in his life. It was amazing, and Haru had to stop. Makoto's eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. It faded as the brunet realised what had happened, expression turning from peaceful to concerned within seconds.

“What's wrong? Did you not like it?” he asked, head tilting to the side as if the words weren't forming a question enough. Haru looked to the floor.

“I don't know,” the male admitted, letting his arms fall to the side, grip tightening on his violin and bow.

“Can you play it again? I have an idea.” Haru wasn't sure if he wanted to continue. The tunes were his. They belonged to them. Makoto was only going to take them away, and some sort of ugly possessiveness tugged at his heart, calm gaze turning into a glare. 

“You want to take it from me.” The words clearly hurt Makoto and he visibly shrunk under Haru's stare.

“N-no! Haruka I--”

“Why do you call me by my first name, Makoto?” Haru snapped.

“Well... You do, so why can't I?” Haru grit his teeth at that comment. He had always been so used to calling everyone by their first name despite it being rude. But Makoto had a point.

“I'll call you Nanase then.” Makoto sounded defeated and a little saddened by it. Haru huffed.

“No.”

“Haruka, then.”

“No!”

“... Haru?” The name wasn't the best, but it seemed Haru would have to put up with it. He sighed an d gave up.

“Fine.” Makoto giggled – in quite a cute way – and went back to his piano, a wide grin gracing his handsome features. Strangely enough, the odd conversation had rid Haru of the negative thoughts that had plagued his mind, and now he felt and odd sense of happiness. 

“C'mon, play again. I have some lyrics.”

–

The pair had made a song. Numerous times the lyrics and melody were changed, the chords staying pretty much the same throughout. But eventually, Makoto was happy with the end result. The lyrics were far too soppy for Haru's liking, but he supposed that cheesy and romantic was something that came naturally to Makoto. He even came up with a name. My base, your pace. Haru didn't know who or what it was about.

“A friendship,” Makoto said suddenly, startling Haru out of his thoughts. The brunet then chuckled. “Sorry, habit.”

 _A habit?_ Haru thought. _He can read what I'm thinking, how is that a habit?_

“A friendship that I wish to have,” he continued, tapping his chin with an index finger.

“Why?” Haru slowly began to put his things away, the violin case closing with a snap.

“Dunno, but wouldn't it be nice to have such a strong bond with someone?” Makoto laughed. “Ah, ignore me. I suppose I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic...”

Haru scoffed. Makoto had spoken the truth. From what he already knew, the pianist really was a hopeless romantic, blushing and acting like a schoolgirl at anything to do with love. It was embarrassing, but Haru couldn't bring himself to voice his opinions on the matter. Makoto was famous, after all. If he really wanted, he could very easily ruin Haru's life. It was sort of intimidating.

“You're scared of me?” Haru grit his teeth, hands balling into fists. Damn mind reading.

“I'm going home.” With that, he left. He didn't bother to wait for a response from Makoto, or to mutter a proper goodbye. He hurriedly exited the apartment and rushed down the stairs, and uncomfortable but warm feeling in his chest and stomach, and he didn't like it.

By the time Haru arrived back to his own place, his phone had been vibrating almost non-stop in his pocket, and needless to say, he was a little more than annoyed. Dropping his violin case onto his bed, Haru slumped into his hard, worn-out desk chair and Kimi jumped up onto his lap. Finally, he read through the messages that had been left.

[From: Tachibana Makoto] : I'm sorry!

[From: Tachibana Makoto] : Did I say something wrong?

[From: Tachibana Makoto] : Haru, talk to me.

[From: Tachibana Makoto] : Haru!

[From: Tachibana Makoto] : Does it bother you that I call you Haru?

[From: Tachibana Makoto] : Are you really scared of me?

With each message, the odd twisting feeling in Haru's stomach intensified and turned to guilt. Despite only knowing Makoto for a short amount of time personally, the violinist already knew a lot about him – the whole world did. There wasn't a lot people didn't know. 

[From: Tachibana Makoto] : Are you really scared of me? 

The message repeated in Haru's mind like a broken record. It was mostly true. He was scared. Makoto held a lot of power due to being so well-known. The grip on his phone tightened, threatening to break the device. Kimi mewled and nuzzled Haru's hand and he couldn't stay irritated or scared or whatever the hell the strong emotion whirling around his body was.

The words of Makoto's text message still in his mind, Haru stood and flopped onto his bed, sighing as he sank into the mattress. The kitten followed, pawing at Haru's arm, asking for food, but by then, the teen was already fast asleep. He didn't know what the feeling in his heart was. It was warm yet cold, soothing yet unnerving. It filled his chest yet left him so empty at the same time. He wanted to scream. He wanted to hide away. It was all so conflicting.

One word formed in Haru's head.


	4. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa is a little shit as usual, and Haru and Makoto share a little moment together.

The strange, empty yet filling feeling had abandoned Haru when he awoke the next morning. He opened his eyes and his vision was full of Kimi, as was usual for the kitten. She let out a loud mewl, pawing his chest and digging her tiny, razor sharp claws into the fabric of Haru's shirt.

“Get off,” he grumbled, but the kitten refused and curled up on his chest, purring loudly. Haru gave up. If he woke her up, he would regret it for over a week. He was jolted wide awake when his phone began to ring, the annoying jingle filling his room and of course, Kimi awoke from her very brief snooze and hissed at the device.

“What is it, Nagisa?” Haru asked when he answered the call, and winced as he heard an almost shrill cheer from the other end.

“How did the date go, Haru-chan? Did you kiss yet?!”

The words filled Haru's mind with what _would it be like to kiss Makoto?_ When he didn't respond, Nagisa took that as a yes and cheered again.

“You did?! Oh my God you kissed! You kissed him! You totally did and I can't believe i-”

“Nagisa,” Haru interrupted, grip tightening on his phone. “We didn't... kiss.” 

“Wait, you didn't?”

“No.”

“But you totally lov-” That was all Haru needed to hear, and he hung up on his blond friend, wondering how on Earth he managed to put up with him for so long. Now annoyed, the violinist shoved Kimi off him and shuffled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

After a breakfast consisting of mostly mackerel with random bits and bobs Haru found in his fridge, he really didn't feel like going out at all, but Nagisa had yet again persuaded him to get out of the apartment. It was apparently “nothing special, Haru-chan!” but there was a devilish kind of hint to his voice and Haru decided that he really didn't like it. The last time the blond sounded like that, he had been forced to go out clubbing. Needless to say it didn't end well; mostly Haru hugging the toilet for the night and Nagisa and Rei taking ownership of his bed. God knows what those two got up to. Haru never found out; he couldn't remember that night all too well.

Unable to figure out what plans Nagisa had, Haru left his apartment, noting the chill in the air and wishing he had brought a scarf with him. Their usual meeting place was outside the mall, in front of a small, slightly too expensive cafe. Haru didn't particularly like going there, but as was usual with Nagisa, he had no choice. He was dragged by the wrist into the building, and forced to sit down at a table close to the large window.

Haru huffed, irritated, and watched as light snow began to fall, though not a single flake settled on the ground. Probably too warm, he thought to himself, silently wishing that it would snow maybe a little bit more. 

There was one thing on his mind.

What _would_ it be like to kiss Makoto?

Soft, gentle, or rough and possessive? Haru felt his face heat up a little, knowing that there would be a tinge of pink of his cheeks. He shifted awkwardly on the fancy and surprisingly comfortable chair, trying to force the thoughts away. His attempts were to no avail and he decided to close his eyes instead. Which only served to fill the front of his mind with images of Makoto with that gorgeous curve on his lips. If only he could just ki-

“Earth to Haru-chan?” The voice brought the violinist out of his thoughts and he sent Nagisa an icy glare, which softened when a coffee was placed on the table. “Grumpy,” the blond said with a pout.

“You forced me out here,” Haru replied, turning his azure gaze back to out of the window, eyes at half lid.

“Are you grumpy because you're not with Mako-chan?” Haru grit his teeth.

“No.”

“You totally are! You miss him~” Nagisa said in a sing-song voice and out of the corner of his eye, Haru saw he was making a kissy face.

“I don't miss Makoto.” Haru let his gaze slide over to meet that same devilish glint in pink eyes, and quickly looked away.

“But you like him, right?” Haru had the odd temptation to smack his head on the table, but resisted it. For now.

“I don't... like Makoto,” he mumbled. He hated how Nagisa always got him to talk.

“But you want to kiss him!”

“I _don't_ want to kiss Makoto!” Haru growled, finally snapping and even raising his voice a little. The blond looked shocked for all of a second before he burst into a fit of giggles. Haru ran a hand through his hair, seriously starting to regret letting Nagisa drag him out, but noticed something. Or, someone. A flash of brown hair, green eyes... He wanted to disappear then and there.

“Oh my _God_ , Haru-chan!” Nagisa managed to get out between loud bouts of laughter, clutching at his ribs as he doubled over. “He's been here the whole time! He heard everything!”

“Sorry I'm late,” came the gentle voice that had Haru's heart rate involuntarily quickening. He couldn't even look at the other, but then why was here there? He was far too well-known and rich to be hanging around in some cafe. 

“I invited Mako-chan along because I know you miss him,” Haru heard Nagisa say, a hard poke to the shoulder following. The violinist grunted, uninterested especially after what he had almost yelled in front of Makoto. A gentle chuckle reached his ears and he dared a glance at the brunet, and regretted it. He couldn't keep his eyes away from those soft lips, currently curved in a smile as he laughed. Haru couldn't help but repeat his previous thoughts: kissing Makoto.

Those lips, pressed ever so lightly against his own. After a brief moment, the passion takes over and their mouths open just enough for tongues to snake out and--

Haru quickly rid his mind of the images. There was no way in the world that Makoto would have a single ounce of attraction for someone like him. 

Or would he?

“Haru-chan, quit being grumpy and talk!” Haru brought his thoughts away from the pianist long enough to glare up at Nagisa, though the harsh gaze had no effect as usual.

“No,” he replied, turning to his probably cold coffee. 

“But you just talke--”

“Ah, Nagisa, Haru clearly doesn't want to talk, so don't force him.” Haru noted the use of Nagisa's first name, assuming the blond had forced it on Makoto, and looked up with a tiny smile of thanks. The brunet seemed to notice the smile, blushing lightly but nodding nonetheless. 

-

The rest of the outing was peaceful. Or, it would have been if it weren't for Nagisa constantly teasing Makoto and Haru about every single glance they shared and every movement that suggested anything. By the end of it Haru was, as always, exhausted by the blond's antics, and couldn't wait to just go home and sleep. After mackerel, and feeding the annoying little shit of a kitten, of course.

“Haru?” came a quiet voice, and the violinist turned around as he adjusted his coat. The once light snow had turned heavier outside, the ground cooling enough for it to settle. He could see his own breath appear in puffs before his eyes, as he stared straight up into green orbs containing an emotion he couldn't quite figure out.

“What?” Haru responded, shoving his hands in his pockets. Makoto fidgeted, looking... nervous? Why would someone like him be nervous? Haru gulped, resisting the urge to nibble on his bottom lip.

“I-- That.. song,” the brunet finally said. Haru felt the tension drain out of his body. Oh, so Makoto wanted something about their song. Nothing else. “Would you... Want to perform it with me at my next gig?”

Wait. What?

Haru blinked, his mouth falling open a little as his brain tried to process Makoto's words.

“I-I mean, I could just get another violinist to do it but-- but we made the song so I figured that you would prefer to do it yourself,” Makoto rambled, rubbing the back of his head.

Haru remained silent, unable to really answer. His thoughts were conflicted. If he took the offer, his popularity would skyrocket. He would be able to properly record the many tunes he had written. Money would be easier. He'd be able to buy everything that he wanted.

But, his privacy would disappear. 

The tunes would be owned by someone else.

The male's azure gaze dropped to the snow covered ground, and Makoto shifted his weight from one foot to another.

“It's fine if you don't, I'll-- I'll get someone else. Or if you really want... I won't even perform it at--”

“Yes,” Haru interrupted quickly, ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him it was a bad idea. 

“You'll-- You'll do it?” Makoto said in a strange mix of disbelief and utter joy. Haru's eyes flicked back up to the other's and he watched as his expression changed from worried and nervous to happy and... there was a warmth Haru hadn't seen before. It made his stomach churn in unpleasant ways, and his heart skip a beat. He turned away, hiding his face with his bangs.

“...Yeah.”

The next thing Haru knew, a heavy weight had flung itself at him and he caught a glance of brunet hair before he was almost knocked over. It took him quite a while to realise what that weight was. He didn't usually like such unnecessary contact, but this, this was different.

“Makoto?” he said quietly, hands hovering near the brunet's back, unsure of what to even do.

“Thank you, Haru! Thank you!” 

Then, Haru couldn't hold back a small smile, just to himself. He carefully returned the embrace, keeping his face pressed against the tall male's chest. Whatever the emotion was that he felt before, it was back, and stronger. Haru just couldn't put a name to it, yet.

Eventually, Haru grew uncomfortable with Makoto's arms slung around him and pushed the other away, hating the fact that his face was burning and knowing there would be a blush dusting his cheeks. 

“Sorry,” Makoto said with a nervous laugh and took a step back.

Haru shrugged in response. Makoto didn't need to be sorry. In fact, he really did like the hug, no matter how unexpected. So much so, that the violinist found himself wanting another, but forced his arms to remain at his sides. The urge to seek that contact again was getting increasingly harder to resist, despite Haru's efforts.

“...See you tomorrow,” Makoto said after a rather pregnant and awkward pause.

“Yeah...” It was odd how the moment felt so uncomfortable, but Haru guessed it was because of how suddenly Makoto had acted on his feelings, without even thinking about it.

With another glance at Makoto's handsome features, Haru turned and left, shoulders slumped and his lips pulled together in a line.

What was that about, anyway?

Haru decided that, in the end, it was just a spur of the moment thing, and pushed it to the back of his mind as he trudged through the deepening snow, watching as people started to panic about getting home on time for their dinners.

Or at least, he tried to stop thinking about it.

Everything seemed to remind him of Makoto all of a sudden, and it was like he was seeing the brunet everywhere. Every head of fluffy brunet hair had his heart rate quickening. He could have sworn he heard his name called out a few times, too, but paid it no mind. It was probably all in his head.

Before he knew it, Haru had wandered over to where the gig Makoto had mentioned would be held. It was a large building, towering over the small shops surrounding it, and it looked quite intimidating.

Why did he even say yes?

Nibbling on his bottom lip, Haru stared up at the venue, ignoring the snow around him. He didn't know how to feel. Nervous? Excited? Regret? All of the above?

“... Idiot,” he muttered under his breath and shivered, suddenly being reminded of how cold it had turned, and began the now long journey home.


	5. Performance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru gets a little more than scared, Makoto is still perfect, and I hate Nagisa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wrote itself, and sorry for not putting any notes on the other ones! Basically a mass upload of chapters because I figured it's about time I put this on here. :)

Nervous.

That's all Haru seemed to be capable of feeling as he sat in his apartment, waiting for Makoto to pick him up. Today was the day. He was going to play at Makoto's gig, just one song, and hell, Makoto was even going to pay him for it.

But, no matter how much he practiced, Haru never felt satisfied with how his violin sounded. Usually it made such a sweet sound, never squeaked, or sounded gratey. However, even after buying brand new – and rather expensive – strings, it still didn't sound right. He cleaned the instrument, three times to be exact, but to no avail. Haru couldn't figure it out, and it irked him. 

Haru just prayed that at the gig, the audience wouldn't know the difference, or were too focused on Makoto to care.

There was also a chance that they would be utterly shocked by Haru's appearance on stage, their eyes glued to him as he made a lame attempt at performing in front of the hundreds, maybe thousands of people that would attend. Just the thought made Haru's stomach churn, and he was glad he hadn't eaten anything since early that morning. If his stomach had anything in it, he was sure he would just vomit.

The violinist was brought out of his thoughts as his doorbell rang, and he shot up into a standing position, knocking Kimi, who had been napping on his lap, onto the floor. The kitten hissed, but with the glare she received, soon shut up and padded off to the bedroom, probably to sleep on Haru's bed or shred the sheets in revenge. He didn't care.

“Haru? Are you there?” he heard that gentle, almost angelic-sounding voice call from the other side of the door. Haru froze. It was just under an hour until he would be on that stage. He gulped, closed his eyes, and willed himself to calm down. 

He was doing this for Makoto, and only Makoto.

Wherever that came from, Haru soon shoved that thought out of his head and grabbed his stuff before heading to the door. He yanked it open and Makoto tumbled forward – clearly, he was leaning against the door to try and hear for signs of life inside. The pair ended up in a rather awkward embrace, though Haru couldn't bring himself to shove Makoto away. 

He needed it.

He needed the warmth that just seemed to always emanate from Makoto's body. It put Haru at ease, having Makoto's larger form pressed against his. It was comfort the violinist had never really had much of in his life.

“Haru, are you okay?” Makoto asked, concern filling those gorgeous green orbs.

“Fine.” Haru was surprised at how shaky his voice sounded, but Makoto didn't pry, despite looking like he was desperate to ask. The brunet took a step back, and motioned towards the stairs.

“We should get going. We're already kinda late, but it's fine. The tech guys will whine about the sound check but I... I wanted to come pick you up.” There was a hint of nervous to Makoto's tone, but Haru chose to ignore it. He walked past the brunet, violin case in hand, though his grip on the handle was far too tight. He blamed it on the nerves making his palms all sweaty. He heard a sigh from behind him but thought nothing of it.

The ride in Makoto's car was hell. Haru was sat in the back of the expensive, shiny vehicle, constantly nibbling on his bottom lip – was it bleeding yet? - and fiddling around with one of the shoulder straps on his violin case. Every corner they turned, every building they passed, made Haru feel increasingly nervous, though he knew the worst was to come. 

Before Haru knew it, he was stood outside the backstage door of the venue with a very concerned Makoto by his side.

“You'll be fine.” A hand was placed gently on his shoulder, though it only served to relieve Haru's nerves a little bit.

He didn't want to do this.

But what could he do? The black-haired male had come too far to turn back. There was no way Makoto could get another musician to perform Haru's part, and not at such a cheap price, either. Haru knew what Makoto was paying him was a lot less than what a professional would get. But, it was money, and it was still a large sum compared to the measly wages at the bakery.

Slowly, Haru made his way inside and was greeted by what he assumed was Makoto's team, and almost yelped as he was whisked away into a nearby room.

“What the-” he started, glaring up at the woman that had so rudely dragged him away from Makoto. He wanted to be with Makoto, not some random blonde lady.

“Calm down, I'm just here to do your make-up,” she said in a surprisingly soft voice. She didn't even sound irritated that Haru was trying to fight and get back outside.

“Make-up?” the violinist repeated, ceasing his struggling and staring at the woman. Didn't only girls wear that stuff?

“Well, yes, we have to make you look good. Not that you aren't handsome already.” The woman even winked and Haru felt sick to the stomach. So not only did he have to perform in front of a thousand or more strangers, he had to wear make-up while doing it? He huffed, annoyed despite his growing fear, and quietly agreed to let the blonde have her way with him.

As it turned out, Haru had to admit that he didn't look that bad once she was finished. Whatever she had put on him – she had made him close his eyes for some reason – it had made his skin look close to perfect, not a single blemish to be seen.

“See? You look perfect!” she almost squealed, reminding Haru of a certain annoying blond friend of his.

“I...” Haru started, but the words got caught in his throat and all he managed to get out was a very choked sounding 'thank you.'

But, that whole ordeal had taken over half an hour, and the gig was due to start in less than ten minutes. The male's hands balled into fists as he tried his utmost best to force the nerves away. 

“Is he ready?” came a familiar voice, and Haru's heart began to beat quicker, the thrum in his chest spreading to his ears it felt so loud. 

“Yes, he is, Tachibana-kun,” the woman said and bowed, earning a chuckle from the brunet.

“Come on, Haru, we need to get backstage.” 

No, Haru's mind yelled. I don't want to do it, don't make me do it!

Instead of listening to his head, Haru let out a shaky breath and stood up on trembling legs. He picked up his violin and, without a single word being spoken, followed Makoto through a narrow corridor. A couple of people on the way gave him a pat on the back and wished him good luck, but the words fell on deaf ears. The pair stopped in front of a door, and Haru gulped. He knew what was past this.

“Our song is last,” Makoto said, turning to Haru and smiling, a wide, but gentle smile that made Haru's heart skip what felt like more than just one beat.

“O-okay.” Haru hated the stuttering, but dropped his gaze to the floor. He didn't want any distractions, not now, and Makoto was definitely one.

After another 'you okay?' and 'I'm fine,' Makoto and Haru made their way through the door. Music filled Haru's ears, but he knew what it was – it was just background music to keep the crowd satisfied while they waited for what was to come.

With his stomach doing backflips and his hands shaking to the point where he was worried he would drop his violin, Haru watched as Makoto gave him another smile and disappeared behind a curtain as the music faded out. 

The crowd cheered.

Haru's throat tightened.

He couldn't do this. There was no way he could get on that stage and play.

Before Haru could even realise what had happened, the gig had passed and there was a guy nudging him in the ribs. He had been too busy fretting over having to perform.

“You're up .” Haru began to feel panic rise along with the already incredibly strong nerves.

“N-no, I-- I c-can't--” Stuttering, the teen struggled to get a decent amount of words out as his nerves completely took over. But he was pushed forward, rather roughly, and it finally hit him.

He had no choice. He had to play.

Hearing Makoto's gentle voice through the speakers only made everything worse, especially as he heard the brunet announce that Haru was going to play with him, for their song.

Our song.

A deep breath in, and out, and Haru forced his trembling legs to move forward, and past the curtain.

Instantly, he was met with bright lights threatening to blind him, but didn't shield his eyes from them. His gaze was locked onto the crowd as he took a tiny step towards Makoto sat waiting at a large grand piano. 

They were all looking at him.

Haru knew what he had to do, but- the whole of the audience was watching him.

_'They hate me. They hate me. They hate me,'_ was all that went through Haru's mind, over and over again in an endless loop. 

Silence, broken only by the odd cough or shuffle of feet.

Haru wanted to cry. He didn't even know why, but the absolute terror that had begun to take over him was getting too much. He wanted to run off stage and just hide away in a corner, hoping to fade away, unnoticed. 

_Why am I doing this?_

Haru gulped, and watched as thousands of pairs of eyes stared at him.

He wanted to be sick.

He had to start the song, he knew that, there was a bit of a solo before Makoto joined in with simple chords on the piano.

Frozen in fear, Haru closed his eyes. He had to calm down. There was no way he could do this if his hands were shaking so much. Slowly, ever so slowly, Haru lifted his violin to his chin, forcing his eyes to stay shut.

He imagined himself and Makoto at the brunet's apartment, practicing the song. After a pause, Haru began to play.

He started on the wrong note.

It kept going, his violin was squeaking terribly and Haru had no idea why he was carrying on with it.

He stopped, and opened his eyes.

The gazes from the audience previously filled with anticipation, almost excitement, were...

Laughter pierced the silence, filling the large, packed room. They were all laughing at him.

_I'm a failure._

Haru didn't even dare to glance at Makoto to know that the brunet was deeply disappointed in his God-awful performance. He didn't even notice that he had dropped his violin bow as he ran off stage. As he made his panicked escape, Haru swore he heard his name being called, but ignored it. He wanted out, and it wanted it now. As he heard the laughter from the crowd die down, Haru had hid away in the only room he knew; where the woman had done his stupid make-up. As gently as possible, he put his violin down on the ground and pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his face in them.

“Haru! Haru! Where are you?” he heard Makoto shout. Idiot, why had he abandoned his gig just to run after a failure of a musician? Haru knew he would never make it in that area of expertise, he had long ago accepted that fact.

The door burst open and a panting brunet stood in the doorway, staring down at Haru, curled up on the floor, violin forgotten by his side.

“Haru...” This time, Haru noticed that Makoto's voice was softer, less concerned, and he could almost hear that gentle smile. He didn't answer, though. 

Hands were placed on his trembling shoulders, and Haru flinched at the contact. It was the last thing he needed. But, he didn't resist when a finger was under his chin, forcing his head up and get lost in the forever calm that was Makoto. 

“Don't cry,” Makoto whispered. “It's okay.” Haru frowned at the warm wetness trickling down his cheeks, but didn't deny it. How could he when Makoto was being such a perfect person? 

“I-I.. I can't..” Haru began, but his words came to a halt when he was pulled into an embrace that felt completely different from their previous ones. It was warm, as were the others, but it was slightly different. There were feelings behind it. Haru knew there was, as his emotions began to run wild, and he could hear the thrum of his heart in his chest.

“You can do it, you're just nervous,” Makoto muttered next to Haru's ear, lips dangerously close to the skin. So much so that it made a shiver travel up Haru's spine. The brunet laughed and pulled away, but kept his hands on Haru's shoulders. “Do it for me, okay? Just keep looking at me, don't look at the audience. They... They might laugh again but ignore them. Just... Look at me.”

And, for some reason, Haru felt calmed by Makoto's words. The nerves were still there, but at that moment in time, they were just some annoying nag in the back of Haru's mind. But that's all it was. It was easily forgotten about. 

Slowly, gently, Haru let Makoto pull him back up so he was standing. His hands were still shaking uncontrollably and the male's tears had left salty trails down his cheeks, but he didn't mind that so much. He was too busy staring into Makoto's eyes. Did they always look that perfect? A lovely shade of green, as if his eyes were a forest, and Haru found himself lost in them, for the second time in the past couple of weeks.

“Haru?”

“Huh?” Haru blinked a few times as he was brought back to reality, earning a chuckle from Makoto.

“Come on, they're waiting to hear our song,” was the answer, and Haru felt his heart soar at the mention of it being their song. They wrote it, together.

“Y-yeah.”

With that, Haru was lead away, back through the narrow corridor, back through the large black door. One of the tech crew stopped Haru just before the curtain, and handed him his violin bow.

“Dropped this, mate.” Haru hummed in reply, feeling his nerves rise. But this time, he could control it. He managed to keep the sick, fluttering feeling of his stomach at bay, forcing his gaze to stay on Makoto.

As he was expecting, as soon as Haru stepped onto the stage, laughter filled the room, along with boo's and insults. Haru didn't look at them.

_Look at Makoto, and only Makoto._

Haru watched as Makoto sat down at his piano and gave him a smile that, if he wasn't on stage, he would have melted into a rather messy puddle on the floor. It made him completely forget about the previous disaster. In fact, it made the silent audience fade away into nothing in Haru's head. It was just him and Makoto, for all he cared. He saw Makoto nod, and lifted his violin to his chin once again.

But this time, he began the song on the right note, and it carried on that way. What was a surprise, though, was how Makoto just seemed to watch Haru play, with such a lovely smile on his lips. Haru tried his best to focus on his playing, but when Makoto started to sing the first verse, he couldn't keep his eyes off the brunet.

It was as if the lyrics and chords Makoto wrote were meant to be played with Haru's melody. Even though they had practiced it many times, Haru had never heard it so beautifully before. The harmonies, chords, everything just melded together to form this perfect song.

The whole time, Makoto didn't even spare the audience a glance. No, his eyes were on Haru's, their gazes locked together. But those lyrics, it felt like Makoto was singing to him.

It felt like a love song.

Instantly, Haru's cheeks heated up and he almost messed up his solo. He quickly managed to correct it and thankfully no one seemed to notice, though soon the song came to a stop. For a moment, there was silence. Makoto stood up from his piano and walked over to Haru, taking the microphone with him.

Then, the crowd exploded into cheers. Whistles, screams, and it made Haru want to cry all over again. It was completely overwhelming, the way everyone reacted to the song. They liked it. No, they loved their song and Haru was surprised at how many people were looking directly at him, wide grins on their faces as they rose their hands into the air to clap for him. 

For Haru, the failure of a violinist who thought he would never get the chance to get his music out there. Yet, here he was, standing on a stage in front of thousands of people cheering for something he had helped write.

It wasn't until they returned backstage that Haru realised what was going on in his chest. That warmth, it was undeniable. He was in lo-

“Haru, that was amazing!” The violinist's thoughts were cut off as a very happy and almost tearful Makoto pulled him into a bear hug. It was far too tight.

“Can't.. breathe...” he managed to get out and the brunet immediately let go of him. Both of their faces were flushed, and something was bugging Haru. But, he couldn't bring himself to get the words to form, no matter how hard he tried.

“Haru-chaaaan!” a loud voice called and Haru grimaced as he realised exactly who that was. He was even about to turn around and glare at the annoying blond, but didn't get the chance as he was roughly shoved into Makoto.

When Haru looked up, that warm feeling spread through his chest again, because as he lifted his gaze, he realised that his forehead was pressed firmly against Makoto's soft lips. That, and when he lifted his head to look up... Their lips were so close together, all Haru had to do was--

“Nagisa! How did you get in here?” Makoto suddenly said, pushing Haru away a little less than gently. The violinist felt disappointed, but also confused – why had he even thought about doing such a thing? Maybe the override of emotions from performing well had gotten to his brain.

“I have my ways,” the blond replied in a far too cheeky tone. Haru rolled his eyes. He really didn't want to know. Makoto simply laughed, though sounded nervous. 

That was when Haru felt a hand against his, their fingers just brushing, but so close that they were almost held together. Haru tried to ignore it as Makoto didn't seem to notice, but their hands were behind their backs, away from the prying eyes of Nagisa.

Haru jumped when the fingers barely millimetres away from his entwined with his own, in a gentle hold. Did friends do that? He usually saw children do it, but he didn't complain. He couldn't. The gesture was comforting, as was Makoto's hugs. There was something about the brunet that just put Haru was ease, and he didn't think there was much point in trying to figure out why.

“Haru-chan! C'mon, we gotta go celebrate!” Nagisa cheered, grabbing Haru's arm and pulling. His and Makoto's hands parted quickly as Haru stumbled forward.

“Celebrate?” he asked slowly.

“Yes! Your debut! The crowd loved you, Haru-chan! Come o-” Nagisa cut himself off when he saw the look on Makoto and Haru's faces, and smirked. “I'll wait outside.”

So, then there was just the two of them. Haru felt a little more than awkward, and it seemed Makoto felt the same. Or at least, that's what Haru assumed from the way the brunet was fidgeting.

“Haru, thank you.” The sudden words were a shock to Haru, and he looked up into those beautiful emerald eyes, and he swore every time he looked into them, he was forever lost. Then, a hand was on his shoulder, Makoto's lips curving in a smile that could win any girl – or guy's – heart with ease. “Go and enjoy yourself. I have to pack up my stuff.”

Haru didn't like that he had to up and leave Makoto, but Nagisa was Nagisa, and he knew that if he didn't allow the blond the honour of celebrating his first performance of hopefully many, he would never hear the end of it. So, the violinist nodded and his hand twitched as it yearned to be held by Makoto's, but he turned his back.

“See ya,” Haru said a bit too quickly and walked out to join Nagisa.

“Did you kiss? Please say you did, if you don't I'll just bash your heads together to make you do it!” Nagisa said, grabbing Haru's hand and pulling him towards a taxi.

“No, I didn't kiss him. I don't... like him like that,” Haru said, but was unsure if his last words were true.

If his quickened heart rate and flushed cheeks were anything to go by, he had a feeling it was a little more than a crush.


	6. Haze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru gets drunk. Basically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO DO. I really, really struggled to write this T_T
> 
> But an update's an update.. right? D:

A club wasn't a place Haru could ever imagine himself being in. The loud, pounding music, the clearly drunken crowd in the middle of the floor, their bodies swaying and hips gyrating to the rhythm of the songs.

But no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much effort Haru put in, he couldn't forget what had just happened with Makoto. Their lips had been so close to touching. So close, that Haru could almost feel it. But then, of course...

“Haru-chan! C'mon, hurry up! God, you're so slow!” Before the violinist could even form a response he was being dragged, yet again, by the wrist to the large bar. Stools dotted around, most of them with someone already perched there. Haru found an empty one and a light sigh fell from his lips as he sat down, unimpressed with how Nagisa was acting.

Wait – did he _know?_

With panic, nerves, embarrassment and all sorts of things fluttering around his stomach, Haru turned to face Nagisa, only to see that the blond had gone and a drink had been placed on the bar in front of him. Oh. Well, now what? The drink was obviously alcoholic – Haru could tell just from the smell of the stuff. Though because Nagisa had bought it, he may as well drink it. The first sip had him scrunching his nose in disgust, but after a few more the taste began to get better and better.

Before he knew it, he had finished the small drink off and there was a light buzz in his head. It was only just noticeable, but it was there, and Haru was certain the alcohol was to blame.

“Hey, he's pretty cute,” Haru heard from nearby and his expression changed to one of confusion. It was a male voice. It wasn't Nagisa's. He wasn't even sure how he could hear the guy over the thrum of the music.

“Let's buy him a drink,” came another, deeper voice. Haru swallowed hard and pretend to ignore them. They were just two men, searching for someone to tease and bully for a night. Nothing Haru couldn't put up with. Right?

The small male jumped at the touch of a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing the muscle as if to test him. 

“Mind if we sit here?” The almost whispered words were too close to Haru's ear for him to be comfortable with it, but gave a shaky nod anyway. Like they would do anything bad in the middle of a club. Despite that, he still wanted Makoto near him. Holding him, caring for him and most of all... kissing him. 

“Perfect.” There was then a man on each side of Haru, ordering... something... off the bartender. It was a dark coloured drink from what Haru could see, and the smell was similar to what he had prior – maybe these men had taken notice of that? It didn't taste all that bad now after the first one.

Still, Haru wanted Makoto.

An hour later and Haru had downed two more of those bitter drinks. The familiar, light buzz in his head had intensified, making him feel almost dizzy, and sick. His limbs began to feel heavy yet feather-light at the same time. His tongue didn't seem to want to behave, causing his speech to sound a tad slurred. Whatever that alcohol was, it was strong. 

The men grew more touchy. One had a hand on Haru's left thigh, the other drawing lazy circles on his right shoulder. They were playing with him. 

“Now you've loosened up a bit..” one of them started, leaning in. 

“How about we go somewhere more quiet?” With his mind full of a sort of haze, Haru couldn't think straight and was about to part his lips to respond when he heard a familiar, high-pitched male voice.

“Haru-chaaan! There you are, right where I left... you.” The blond's words trailed off, sounding rather confused. “Who are these two?” 

“They were-” Haru hiccuped, cutting his words short. “About to leave. I think, maybe.” He attempted a glare at one of the men and they backed off. It was odd, really. They could have easily overpowered both him and Nagisa. Maybe they just didn't want the hassle. He heard Nagisa giggle as the presence from either side of him faded away, signalling that they had left.

“You're a lightweight!” Nagisa shouted, laughing. “I thought you would be! Only three drinks was it?”

“Nnagisa,” Haru slurred, turning to face the shorter male, azure eyes still narrowed in a glare. “I'm no- I'm not.”

“You are!” Nagisa almost cackled and ordered another drink.

_Oh, no, not another one,_ Haru thought but didn't resist when he was handed another full glass. He didn't stop as he brought it to his lips, smelling and tasting the now sweet liquid again and taking a large gulp.

“Oh my God no wonder you're pissed already! You shouldn't down that stuff! Sip it, Haru-chan! Sip it!”

Of course, Haru didn't listen, already having finished half of it. 

“Mmm,” he hummed, though was attempting a name. It was on the tip of his tongue but refused to form. What was it now?

Ah.

“Mmakoto. I wan' him.” Haru grunted when he felt a weight on his shoulder, sighing at hearing that devilish giggle.

“I know you do. That's why you're here, Haru-chan.” The violinist glanced over to see Nagisa wink with a sly smirk on his lips. He groaned. 

_Please no._

“Gimme your phone! I'm gonna ring him, and he's gonna come pick you up!” Nagisa nudged him hard in the ribs, making Haru feel a little sick at the rough contact. “Then you better tell him how you feel or I'm doing it for you!” 

Before Haru's mind could form and send words from his brain to his mouth, the blond was gone again. He huffed, eyes slowly drifting over to his unfinished drink. Well, there was one thing he could do to pass the time. One sip turned into a gulp, and the alcohol was gone. Haru placed his arms and head on the bar, sliding forward a little as he slouched. Tonight had been amazing. Frightening, nerve-wracking, but despite that he still enjoyed it. More so when he saw the look on Makoto's face after playing their song. 

Makoto.

Haru still wasn't quite sure what he felt about the famous pianist. He thought it was a crush, or even love, but was it really meant to be like that? Every time he saw Makoto, his heart would race, his stomach would flutter as if filled with butterflies, and he would grow shy, anxious, nervous. Even now while simply thinking about him, Haru felt his heart speed up its pace though whether or not that was due to the alcohol, he wouldn't know.

Sighing, Haru allowed his eyes to close. Just for a minute, he told himself.

Many minutes later, he heard a voice. Not just any voice, however. That gentle tone...

“Haru?” Said male inhaled deeply as he reluctantly sat up, looking up at the brunet with unfocused eyes. A sigh followed. “Nagisa said you had been drinking, but...”

Haru didn't protest as he was lifted up off the stool and practically carried out of the club. He had never thought alcohol would have such an effect, and so quickly. Maybe he was – what did you call it? - a lightweight? It was a possibility, seeing as he had never dared to go near alcohol before. 

-

Another hour later and Haru was slumped on a couch in the lounge area of Makoto's apartment, eyes closed, breathing soft and even. Light footsteps could be heard and the violinist stirred from his barely conscious state, cracking one eye open. Makoto stood in front of him, two tablets in one hand and a glass of milk in the other.

“Take these, they'll help,” the brunet said in a gentle voice, completely masking any annoyance Haru was certain he felt. Haru groaned quietly in reluctance but sat up anyway. It was amusing when he attempted to take the glass off Makoto. It was sort of like he had double vision. His eyes could see but refused to focus at all. While giggling, Haru tried and failed to take the glass three times before he got it and gulped the cool liquid down.

“Haruuu! You were meant to-! Nevermind,” Makoto whined, taking a sharp intake of breath when Haru suddenly stood up, wobbled, and took hold of his shirt. And hiccuped, of course. Twice. Haru struggled to keep himself steady, but with assistance from Makoto, he at least didn't topple over. 

“Nn... Nagisa told me.. tha', I,” he started, earning a puzzled look from the brunet he was clinging onto. “I'should tell you...uh.” Haru pause, gazing up at Makoto's face. He looked even more handsome this close. Well, he had two heads, but they were both very good looking and Haru wouldn't complain. A silly grin spread across the violinists lips.

“H-Haru? What are you-” Makoto was cut off when Haru messily pressed their mouths together in a kiss. His first kiss, mind. Not the best, but it felt good. No, much better than just good. It felt amazing even though they were frozen in their positions and Haru was instantly lost in it.

Haru stumbled, causing Makoto to lose balance and in an attempt to prevent them both from falling onto the floor, spun them both around, flopped onto the couch, and pulled Haru with him. He whined at the contact, having suddenly being yanked down to sit in Makoto's lap. As he went to kiss Makoto again, the brunet rose a hand and forced him to turn his head to the side, stopping him. 

“Haru, do you even know what you're doing?”

“F'course I do..!” came the slurred response. “I wan' you. Now.” Makoto took in a short breath, about to speak again when Haru shoved the other's hand away and kiss him again. Makoto didn't seem to resist. In fact, he felt the brunet push back onto his lips, arms winding around the violinist's waist. It was as if Makoto had been waiting for hours to do it.

Haru sighed into the kiss, allowing his body to relax. Who knew kissing could feel this way? Their mouths just seemed to fit perfectly together, as if they were meant for each other. Meant to meet in that park, meant to create songs together and meant to play that gig. They were meant to be here, right now, kissing on the sofa.

After a brief moment, Haru felt Makoto's body also relax, as if he finally figured out that it was okay to do it.

Haru felt a weird, fluttering feeling in his stomach but ignored it. It was probably something to do with what he was doing. 

His heart was thumping so hard and quick in his chest that Haru swore Makoto would be able to feel it, hear it.

Quickly gaining confidence, Haru pushed himself further down onto Makoto, earning a quiet whine in response. But suddenly stopped and pulled away, covering his mouth.

“What's wrong? Haru, tell-”

_“Move.”_

And, with that, Haru leapt off Makoto, stumbled a few times before regaining his balance and running for the bathroom.


	7. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nagisa basically forces Makoto and Haru to sort their shit out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took.. forever. I know you're tired of me never updating when I say I will, so I won't even try to excuse myself.

All Haru could think of when he awoke at some point during late afternoon of the next day, was _ouch_. He head ached. No, it pounded, as if there were a million drills hammering against his skull, threatening to shatter it. He clutched his head and groaned softly, even the noise to slip past his lips making his head hurt. Only, it was followed by another. Quieter, barely even noticeable, but it was there.

_What the hell?_

Haru's tired eyes widened when he realised who that sound belonged to.

Makoto.

He scrambled out of the bed, attempting to get off but failing horribly. He ended up toppling off and landing on the floor with a loud thud and curse.

Oh, he forgot about his head. Haru curled up into a tight ball, wishing that the previous night never even happened, that it was all just some messed up nightmare. Not that he could recall much of it. It was all just a hazy blur, details mixed up, though what little bits he could remember, felt as if they happened but they didn't – a dream, perhaps.

“Haru...?” came a quiet, sleep-filled voice, and he responded by curling up even more.

“M'no... Ugh.” Haru couldn't even speak properly, his voice still retaining that drunken slur from the alcohol. Shuffling was heard before there was a light touch to his shoulder.

“You okay? You did drink a lot, and...” There was a pause, as if Makoto was hesitating to say or do something, before the larger male sighed. “I'll make you a drink. Get back in bed.” Makoto's voice was calm, strong, exactly what Haru needed. But the touch, it wasn't enough. His skin burned where Makoto's hand had brushed against his shoulder. It made him crave more, yet also push him away and hide from the world. It was confusing, and too much for Haru's fuzzy, intoxicated brain. Conflicted, he sighed and gave Makoto permission to help him.

After Makoto had assisted him, Haru found little to no trouble in falling asleep again, soft snoring filling the room. Though despite his words, Makoto didn't make the violinist a drink. Instead, the brunet showered before getting an extra blanket and draping it over Haru's slim, resting form.

–

It was maybe two, three hours when Haru awoke again to the smell of food. Well, burnt food. He groaned, rolling over as the smell caused his stomach to churn. He buried himself in the blankets in an attempt to block out the stench, but of course it didn't work. As footsteps sounded in the room, growing gradually louder until stopping, Haru refused to stir.

“I-I tried to make you some breakfast but I...”

“Burnt it,” Haru finished, unable to hide the amused lilt to his voice. Makoto chuckled. 

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“I'll cook,” Haru finally said after a long and immensely awkward pause, and untangled himself from the bedsheets and sat up. The stare he received from Makoto made his cheeks flush and he had the sudden urge to hide again. It was a sort of longing gaze, but had this hint of something a lot deeper. His eyes flitted down to settle on Makoto's lips, and watched as the brunet took his bottom lip between his teeth to gently nibble on it. Though, if it was caused by a habit or nerves, Haru couldn't quite figure it out.

“Haru?” The voice broke Haru out of his almost trance, and said male blinked a few times to get his mind back to reality.

“Yeah. Cooking. I'll.. do it. I can cook.” _Sort of_ , Haru finished off in his mind and climbed out of bed. Only, he would have if he hadn't realised that he had literally no clothes on and scrambled to grab a sheet off the bed to cover himself up.

_Why did I sleep naked, with Makoto in the bed?!_

“You, uh. You were sick,” Makoto explained as if reading Haru's mind.

_Well, that explains it, I guess... But we didn't- did we?_

“We didn't do anything. I-I washed your clothes. I had to help you shower, you were kinda... dirty.”

_Makoto saw me naked?_

Makoto flushed. “I mean- I didn't look. Well, I did but. I-- I only looked where I had to! I didn't, I didn't see anything, really!” 

Haru just stared in disbelief as Makoto tried to explain the reasons behind Haru's lack of clothing. It was sort of funny. Not that Haru was about to laugh about it. He still didn't know why Makoto had chosen to also sleep naked, and in the same bed. 

“I'm sorr-”

“It's fine. You got a shirt I can wear?” _And maybe some boxers, or something?_ Makoto chuckled, earning a glare from Haru.

“I washed your clothes, remember? I'll go get them.” Haru huffed and mentally cursed his brain for forgetting such a detail.

-

Twenty minutes later and a still hungover Haru was stood in front of Makoto's fridge, staring at the very few contents and wondering why on Earth he had to get himself in such a situation. Makoto didn't even have mackerel. 

“I can't cook, so I don't really keep much food in..” Makoto admitted sheepishly, fidgeting in his spot beside Haru. 

_I can smell that you can't cook_ , Haru thought, eyes narrowing as his fuzzy mind was unable to conjure up a meal out of the random ingredients in the fridge. He closed the door with a sigh and turned to Makoto. One thing had been bothering him since he woke up. That look in Makoto's eyes – what did it mean? Something must have happened besides the brunet seeing Haru naked in the shower, and sleeping with him.

“What happened?” Haru asked, for the first time in his life actually being able to voice his thoughts properly.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Makoto stuttered, cheeks flushing as he faced away.

_Makoto, you're a grown man. Act like one!_

Haru bit on his bottom lip, forcing back his irritation. “What happened last night? I know I got drunk, I know I was sick and that we slept together naked, but there's something else.” When Haru gained the ability to read Makoto so well, he would never know. Maybe it was the two or three weeks they spent together perfecting that song.

“Th-that's all that happened! I picked you up from the club, and you were uh, quite drunk, and my apartment was closer so I figured it'd be easier if I took you here. I mean I know where you live but in your state I didn't want to leave you alone,” Makoto rambled, keeping his gaze firmly set on the single sofa in the lounge area. “I tried to get you to take some painkillers to ease the hangover but you- you.” Makoto stuttered, and Haru cocked an eyebrow.

“I what?”

“You uh. I mean, you may have...”

“Makoto. What did I do?” Haru said in a deeper voice he never used.

“You... kissed me.”

Those three words caused Haru's whole world to freeze at that moment in time. He kissed Makoto. While drunk. He _kissed_ Makoto. Haru's mouth grew dry and he attempted to speak, but no sounds came out so he gave up entirely and turned back around so he was facing the fridge. The surface of the door was ever so slightly reflective and gave a blurry image, but Haru could clearly see the pink tinge to his face.

“I ki--” 

A ringing filled the air and Haru didn't even attempt to hold back the curses that threatened to escape his lips. There was no point when it came to Nagisa. The damn blond always picked the completely wrong moments to call. Haru snatched up his phone from the kitchen counter and pressed the accept button a little harder than intended.

“What?” he said through gritted teeth. The tone of his voice, however, didn't affect Nagisa.

“Haru-chan! Are you okay? I've tried ringing you like a _million_ times! Did Makoto look after you? Did you confess? Oh my God did you kiss?” The endless stream of questions only caused Haru's headache to make a return and he was seriously considering destroying his phone. 

“We didn't do anything,” he responded in a surprisingly calm manner. “I fell asleep as soon as I got to Makoto's apartment.”

“No you didn't! I know you guys did something! You can't hide it from me, Haru-chan, I can hear it in that monotone voice of yours. Where does he live? I'm coming over.” 

“ _No_.” The silence on the other end of the phone was an indicator that Haru's single word had either shocked Nagisa, or made the blond realise that Haru didn't want to talk about it. 

“...Haru? Are you okay?” The lack of an annoying, childish nickname was the only thing Nagisa could have done to make the violinist listen to him. “What happened?”

It didn't take much for Haru to give in and tell Nagisa where Makoto lived, after he had given permission, of course. It was just something Nagisa had always been good at. Maybe it was something to do with them knowing each other since they were 6 years old. 

Ten minutes later and said male was stood outside Makoto's apartment, but when he came in Haru noticed he was unusually quiet, and couldn't help but worry.

“Nagisa?” He turned around, and at that moment, Haru regretted everything.

“You two need to confess, right now!” Nagisa yelled, making both of them jump.

“C-confess?” Makoto and Haru asked at the same time but didn't make any comments about it. 

“You know what! Honestly, you two have been dodging around each other for the past few weeks and I'm tired of not seeing you together. Both me and Rin-chan are fed up of it, him more than me.” Distracted for a split second, Nagisa burst into giggles. “You should have seen his face when I told him you two did nothing last night! I think he said every curse word that could possibly exist...”

Haru stared, mouth hanging open, looking oddly dumbstruck. So he had to confess, right now, in front of Nagisa, before the blond literally banged their heads together and forced them? He couldn't do it. There was no way on Earth that Haru would ever be able to say something so meaningful to someone, especially when there was another person watching!

“No.” 

_Wait a minute._

The voice didn't come from Haru, despite him being about to say the word. Makoto said it. 

“I... I can't. Not with you here,” the brunet continued, and Nagisa crossed his arms with a huff.

“I'm not leaving! I only just got here, _c'mon_ , it's unfair!”

“I know, I know, but I _promise_ I'll say something, okay? This is, this is something I can only say to Haru, alone.” Haru swallowed hard. 

“But I wanted you two to confess, and I wanted to see it! I-I-” Nagisa cut himself off and sighed, as if giving up. “I need to use bathroom.” Haru knew it was only a lie.

But with that, Nagisa was gone. Haru gathered all the courage he had to look over at Makoto, who was wearing a rather conflicted expression.

“Makoto, you don't-”

“Haru, I think I like you. A lot. More, more than I think I should.” 

For the second time that day, Haru felt his world freeze up.


	8. Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Rin smacks some sense into Haru (literally) and all is well. For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trash for not doing this sooner.

Haru couldn't move. He couldn't even breathe. Makoto liked him. Makoto, a famous, good-looking, perfect human being, liked him. An unknown, horrible musician who couldn't even get anywhere with his songs. Makoto liked him.

What could he even _do?_

Haru could just run away, as his mind was screaming at him to do. His legs were trembling, wanting so desperately to break into a sprint, but his feet seemed glued to the floor. His body and mind were conflicted with a mixture of desires. 

As Makoto opened his mouth, probably to ask if Haru was okay, his gaze fell to the floor, regaining the ability to breathe, though it came out uneven and shallow. It was almost as if he were panicking. No, he was panicking, if the way his heart raced was any indication, beating rapidly and out of time. 

“...Haru,” Makoto started, and Haru pretended to be interested in his shoes, hoping to whatever God that existed that the pianist was stupid enough to fall for the act. “I-I'm sorry I-” He fell silent, and Haru completely ignored the voice in the back of his mind telling him that Nagisa was taking a little too long in the bathroom for it to be normal.

_Run._

Forcing his body into action, Haru whipped around and sprinted out of the door, Makoto's shout of his name falling onto deaf ears. Already panting, Haru blinked away the burning of his eyes, knowing that tears were attempting to form. He refused to let them and soon found himself in the park where he and Makoto had first met. 

It was cold, a thick blanket of snow covering every surface, and Haru mentally cursed the weather. Snow had never lasted this long before, why was it so determined to stick around?

Haru sat down on the same fountain where he had played for Makoto those weeks ago. Why did he run? What was even going through his mind when he- 

“Oi.”

Haru's head snapped up at the sound of a rather familiar voice. Crimson hair with eyes of a matching shade... of course it had to be Rin.

“R-Rin? What are you-”

“I'm here to talk some sense into that thick skull of yours, Haru.” 

He fell silent as his friend approached, head hanging low as he gazed at the snow covered ground. He was cold, so cold, and an idiot for not even thinking of taking his jacket with him. At a weight on his shoulders, Haru jumped. But it was warm. Had Rin just-

“So you don't freeze to death,” came the redhead's words and Haru heard a soft thump as Rin sat down next to him. He refused to look at his friend. “Nagisa told me.”

“I didn't mean- I just- I don't-”

“Haru! Relax. I'm not gonna yell at you like Nagisa probably will. That dumb blond trying to force that Tachibana guy to say something... Tch.”

Haru shifted awkwardly, though was secretly grateful for the warm jacket around his shoulders. Despite that, he couldn't stop shivering, feeling cold to the bone. Why did it have to be so cold again? Rin was obviously pissed about having to be the one to talk to Haru, to try and make him see some sense in the whole situation. But, Haru appreciated it. As he stared into the distance, he realised that he actually needed this right now. 

“Why did you run? I thought you got over that.” Haru nibbled on the inside of his bottom lip nervously. Well, he had thought that too. “That's all you used to do as a kid, y'know? Run away from your problems, hoping that you'll never have to deal with them again. Do you even know how stupid that is? Think of how Tachibana feels! He's probably heart broken right now, Haru, don't you _realise_ that?”

Haru swallowed hard, trying to rid his throat of the ugly lump that had formed. Rin was right. How did Makoto feel about him running away? He probably took it as a rejection. There was no way now for Haru to make things right, was there? He remained silent, unconsciously curling into himself.

“Haru, I know you like him, but running away isn't going to solve anything. Fuck...” He heard shuffling from next to him and dared to glance up. It seemed the chill in the air was getting to Rin, too. “Look, I just don't want you to fuck this up like I did with Ai, 'kay? Tachibana doesn't just like you, Haru, I could see it in his eyes when I watched you two perform.”

Wait, Rin had _seen_ that? Panic bubbled up in Haru's chest. Rin had seen him play. He had seen his complete disaster of a performance-

“-which, by the way, was pretty cool of you to do.”

_What?_

“But Haru, listen to me for once in your damn life.”

Haru grit his teeth, wanting to stop them from chattering and also to try and prevent the irritation he felt. He didn't need Rin to tell him these things! He didn't want to hear it. There was no need. He could figure this all out on his own, he just needed a bit of time.

“I don't need you to-”

“Yes you _fucking_ do, Haru!” Rin had stood up, now in front of Haru, hands at his sides. Haru flinched as he saw Rin's hands come closer to him but when he felt contact on his shoulders instead of his face, he cracked one eye open. “Listen to me.”

“I-I don-”

“Tachibana loves you.”

He _what_? Haru stared up at Rin almost dumbly, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He knew Makoto liked him but... love?

“But I-”

“I told you to fucking _listen!_ Jeez, Haru, I thought you were smarter than this. Tell me you can't see it when he looks at you? That's not friendly affection, it's pure love. He _loves_ you, Haru, and you're so fucking lucky to have someone who does! Stop running away from it already! I know how you feel, more than you think I do, so just stop running.”

The tears that Haru had been holding back for so long finally spilled over, trickling down his cheeks and leaving a trail of wet warmth in their tracks. He reached up and rubbed at his running nose, sniffing a few times. He realised that yes, he could see it. Every glance Makoto gave him was full of an affection that you don't just get from a friend. 

“Oh my God you're crying. You're such a fucking baby!” A loud ringing filled the air and Rin took a step back. “Hold on.” Haru ducked his head, hoping that his fringe would cover his puffy eyes. “-Yeah, he's here.” No Rin, don't- “come get him. Yeah yeah, I talked to him.”

“Rin, stop!” Haru's voice rose in volume and he stood up, jacket slipping off his shoulders with the sudden movement. “I-I don't want to- I-I can't see M-Makoto. I-I want t-to go home. I can't-” Haru was cut off by a hard hit to his face. Had Rin just...? Clutching his burning cheek, Haru glared at his friend. “Wh-what the hell, Rin? I just want to go-” Another hit. Haru stumbled, losing his balance.

“You're not going _anywhere_ ,” Rin practically growled, taking hold of the front of Haru's shirt tightly and pushing him back towards the fountain. “You're going to sit here and wait for Tachibana to come and get you. And yeah, he heard you shouting. I didn't get a chance to hang up before you decided that you wanted to run away again. I'm not letting you.”

Defeated, Haru obediently sat back down and pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his face against his legs. His cheek hurt like hell, his heart ached, and his stomach, as if to add to his situation, let out a loud growl to announce his growing hunger. Silence fell between the pair, bar the odd sniff from Haru.

“Stop crying already. You want Tachibana to see you like that? You look pathetic.” 

No, he didn't. Not again. Haru uncurled his body and wiped at his eyes and nose, not caring that he probably got snot all over his hoody's sleeve. It could always be washed later. 

“You're so stupid for letting this shit happen. I bet he's worried sick. Not that I would be.”

Haru almost snorted. Rin would probably be more worried than Makoto. In fact he'd probably end up crying. Rin sighed loudly, shuffling his feet in the snow and sending some of it flying with a kick. He turned around suddenly and Haru expected another hit, flinching again. Nothing happened.

“Just... Don't fuck this up, alright? I may act like a dick to you Haru but I want you to be happy just as much as Nagisa and Rei.” Since when did Rin give advice to him like that? And when did he ever admit that he was a dick? Haru was going to comment when he heard an all too familiar voice.

“Haru! Haru, there you are!” Haru's heart sank. Makoto didn't sound angry, he sounded relieved. Why was he relieved?! Haru had practically rejected him! Makoto shouldn't want to see Haru at all... Right?

“M-Mako...to...” Finding that his voice was probably not going to work very well, Haru stood up and allowed Makoto to embrace him. He winced at the brunet's head rubbing against his cheek but ignored it. The warmth emanating from Makoto's body was more than welcome, and comforting.

“I'll leave you to do the rest, Haru. Not sorry for hitting you, by the way.” Before Haru could thank his friend, Rin was gone, waving his hand in a silent goodbye. Makoto pulled back at these words and studied Haru's face.

“He hit you? Why?”

Haru shrugged one shoulder, still unable to look Makoto in the eye. “I... I needed it. A-Apparently.” Reaching up with a hand, he ran the tips of his fingers over what would surely be a bruise later. He jumped when he felt fingers that weren't his own, join and intertwine with his. The action was simple, but sent Haru's pulse into a frenzy, heart beating rapidly as his cheeks began to burn not only with the sting of Rin's hits, but a blush. Why was Makoto being like this? Shouldn't he be angry? Why...

“I meant what I said, Haru.” Breath hitching in his throat, Haru struggled to gather the words to respond. He liked Makoto. Of course he did, how could he not have feelings for such a perfect person? As soon as he had laid eyes on Makoto, heard that voice, he knew he was doomed for eternity with how hard he fell for him. 

“I-I'm s-s-sor-ry-” Haru tried to speak but the shivers wracking his body only made his voice waver and words stutter. When Makoto had arrived shouting his name, Haru had completely forgotten about how cold it was as a light flurry of snow began to fall. He wanted to go home, he wanted to be in his warm, cosy apartment, but at the same time, he couldn't help but want to stay in Makoto's embrace forever.

“You're frozen... Here, I brought your coat.” Haru almost choked on a sob when Makoto wrapped his coat around his body. “You've been crying. I'm sorry. I'll take you back to my apartment okay? I'll make some tea.”

Haru wanted to speak, to voice his thoughts about only wanting to go to his home, that yes, I like you too Makoto, in fact I think I love you, but no sound came out when he parted his lips. Only a quiet whimper escaped as Makoto touched the sensitive flesh on his cheek. 

“Come on, or you'll get sick.” There wasn't any irritation in Makoto's tone of voice, only a great amount of worry with a tint of happiness. Haru still couldn't understand but followed as the brunet lead him to his car. 

Not a word was said between them during the entire journey to Makoto's apartment, but Haru didn't find it awkward at all. It was almost comfortable as he leaned his head on the glass of the car's window, watching the world fly by in a blanket of white. The quiet jingle of the radio only served as background noise and he knew that Makoto was stealing concerned glances at him. Which was probably dangerous in some way considering Makoto was the one driving.

Soon Haru was sat back in the lounge of Makoto's large apartment, staring into space as the memories of that day, and even the hazy ones from the night before, whizzed around his mind. He was trying to make sense of it all, but failing horribly. A warm cup being placed in his hands brought Haru back to the real world and he automatically wrapped his fingers around it, craving the heat it provided as his body still shivered.

“I was worried.” Typical Makoto, starting the conversation. “When you ran off. I-I mean, it's cold out there and...” A nervous chuckle filled the air and Haru glanced up, looking at Makoto through dark lashes. “Haru... I...”

Haru had to say something. It was the only way he could get across exactly what he felt. Makoto clearly wanted to know, both his body language and voice giving everything away. 

“I think...” Haru slowly started, drawing Makoto's attention and he stood waiting like a puppy for a treat. “I might...” Words weren't working. Haru mentally cursed his inability to get his emotions across and sighed, gently placing his cup on the small coffee table. If words didn't work, then he was left with...

“Haru? Are you okay? Y-You should rest or you'll-” Haru cut him short by placing a finger on Makoto's lips, and then replacing it with his own mouth. He could see and feel the way Makoto turned completely rigid under the touch. He put his trembling hands on the fabric covering Makoto's chest, but not to push the taller male away. The kiss was sweet, nothing like the bits and pieces he could remember from the night prior, which was messy and hungry. Their lips slid softly against each other, parting slightly. He moved his hands from Makoto's chest to his shoulders, the arms around his waist tightening their grip. Slowly, azure eyes fluttered closed. Their noses bumped awkwardly due to Haru's lack of experience – a twinge of jealousy tugged at Haru's heart at the thought of this not being Makoto's first kiss – and he fought back a small smile. 

It all felt innocent, as if there were no other intentions, until Haru felt hands on his hips, gradually making their way down to his- he pulled away with a quiet whine and quickly buried his face into the crook of Makoto's neck.

“S-Sorry Haru I-I got.. carried away. I'm sorry.” Haru smiled, thankful that Makoto couldn't see it.

“It's okay.”

“B-But I really, really like you-”

“I know.”

“I-It doesn't m-matter if you don't like me, b-but from that kiss-”

“-makoto-”

“-I-I'm going to... a-assume that you-”

Haru had to silence Makoto again with his lips in another kiss, whatever words the brunet had planned melting away. Despite his desires for something more, Haru cut the kiss short and looked Makoto directly in the eye.

“Makoto.”

_I think I love you._


End file.
